First off, welcome to my blog!
So the premise of this blog is the man quest. In our culture we don't have much in the way of a rites of passage and I believe that it is something that we lack. For a man, pretty much the closest thing we have is going away to college or moving out of the parent's house for the first time. So the imagery is something that fascinates us and tugs at the hearts of all men when we see it in movies or hear stories.
The man quest, in essence, is the journey a man undertakes when something in his life either has changed (or needs to change) in an epic way. For some, this may be the loss of a loved one, for others it could be a big reset button on your expectations for your life. The epic journey of redemption and self discovery. This is the man quest.
Personal Background:
For me I have been battling some demons in my life. A few years ago I met a girl who changed my entire outlook on life, love and all my goals. I came out of a rough marriage into a state of self discovery and while I wasn't ready right away, I could not resist the pull I felt with this girl. She was so kind to me and treated me with respect and compassion. It was easy to fall in love with her. We were friends for a long while before anything more happened between us, building the foundation of an experience that I would name the greatest treasure of my life.
I cannot stress this enough that this was an earth shaking romance that completely consumed my heart. For me, no other girl would do. The breakup came on the heels of losing my job brought on by the distance created by a breakdown in communication (which has a lot of details that I won't describe). There were other reasons... there always are. In the eight weeks since the break up, we have spent a lot of time talking about these reasons and resolving them... in fact, we've never been more open with each other.
I felt like I had my emotions under control and I could give her the time she needed apart from me, being her friend while working on myself so that when the time came, we'd both be ready for an even better relationship... one that would last forever. The collapse came when I got a call that my dog (from a previous relationship) had died... and the emotional landslide overtook me. All of the sadness I had felt came with a vengeance, and so my heart tried to run home... to where it felt safe and loved. I attempted to create a reality for myself where she and I were together again... I pushed, and only pushed her away.
Feeling alone, I had an epiphany; that it's time I took my manhood back. Stood up for myself and what I believe in... it's time to hit the reset button and outrun these demons. It's time for a man quest.
The Quest:
I have a few rules for myself.
1) My method of transportation is motorcycle (In my case, a Kawasaki Ninja 250 I have had for 3 years). Although this is the beginning method, it may not be the ending method. I want to be flexible.
2) Write every day (on a novel I am working on)
3) Workout 5 days/week (like I have been doing for the 7 weeks prior to the quest)
4) Don't come back without a good reason
5) Lean into my fears, use them as a compass.
6) Don't pay to sleep (meaning no hotels).
If I need money, I will work... the journey is what is important, not the destination. My wish before I go is that my heart will find its way back home... but I have no idea how life on the road, sleeping on the cold ground, fighting the weather will change my expectations or outlooks. It will be a lot of time to spend in my own head.
I leave in 4 days.
