Day 22-27: Hard days

Day 22 Journal

Three weeks gone by. I have covered a lot of ground. I am hopefully optimistic. My life is my own to choose and I choose extraordinary. Going to write a lot over the next few days, if it kills me.

Day 25 Journal

I spent the last three days writing feeling a little distracted by my own head. I had a good phone conversation with one of my cousins which made me feel good, and a few with a friend about SotP. I I haven’t spoken to the girl in a while and it has got me feeling very down. I don’t like that she still holds sway over my heart in a way.

Last night I sat up above lookout point, watching the sunset, feeling one with the world around me. Slowly the light faded away and the stars came out. When the night was full, I fell asleep. It was a beautiful night. Cold though. I had an amazing spiritual experience on this hill top... too personal to even write. It would be the catalyst for resolving my purpose (although I didn't know it at the time).

I talked to my ex's son today, apparently she went to her friend's birthday in Mexico for a week. I didn't know why she didn't tell me at the time that she was going... especially after contacting me so frequently on my friend. Later I would find out she went with someone... Although a part of me knew it then... she was moving on while I was fighting the memory. 

Day 27 08-20-2012

The days alone have been good and quiet. I have been writing a lot and filling out paperwork for an apartment I plan on getting when I eventually head back to Pville. I don’t know about the girl anymore… I think it might just be over between us. 

So what the future holds I do not know for me. I have been on this path now for almost four weeks, and I have come a long way. I have been writing a lot, and finding myself. I feel whole… just need to close the book on this last little chapter of my childhood. C’est la vie.